J cole's "She Mine Pt 1"

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    I’m definitely going to get made fun of for writing this, and it might be a little personal. However, whatever. This masterpiece by Jermaine Cole is nothing short of greatness. This song/poem talks about how important and impactful a person can have on another. The central message I got from this is that J Cole is so hurt and scarred from his past that it takes him longer than usual to open up to someone. But as he does he discovers that it's the most liberating and peaceful change he’s ever known. He goes on to show his love for a girl who is portrayed as a balance, someone who he is willing to trust after isolating himself for so long.

    How this appeals to me you might ask? Well, I guess in a way, maybe a more extreme way, I have a really messed up tendency to not let people get too close to me. I just can’t trust other people like that, and prefer to keep my closest friends at a distance. My whole approach to this is really toxic, but it’s all I’ve ever known and am most comfortable with. I just think that if you let people in your inner inner circle it becomes a little dangerous and you can get screwed over really fast and it just hurts. Throughout my life I’ve let a total of 1.5 people in that inner circle and one of them is my cousin. The 0.5 is because I tried letting another in a while ago, but I was too scared to do so. I hate having my emotions dictate my actions, because then your judgement and clear thinking gets altered or clouded which results in really uncharacteristic decisions and eventually losing yourself (lowkey this blog post might be a act of pure emotion, I’m legit writing this at 2 in the morning listening to white ferrari by frank ocean, but whatever). I mean, I definitely have improved in this aspect, I let in a couple of people in my close circle so far and it's been a breath of fresh air. It keeps me accountable and most of all it prevents me from making really stupid decisions. I kind of lost myself this past year or so. On one end I kinda liked the change and the person I was becoming, and thought that maybe it was time to lose the person I knew for my entire life (I’m talking about me); on the other I hated it cause the change went against everything I thought I valued. It was probably due to how different my main friend group was as opposed to one person who I thought was pretty cool. So it was just really chaotic in my head, and I couldn’t make sense of what I was feeling at the time. I guess the confusion came to a catastrophic stop, but it's probably for the better.

    Anyways back to the topic at hand, I just think this song/poem is pretty dope, finding someone that you can trust and put up with your bs is nothing short of awesome, trust me on that. I don’t know man, I’m just tryna make my mom proud when it comes to this part of my life. Isn’t it so weird to hear this come out of my brain? Like I know Nav is probably laughing his ass off right now. The kid is definitely screenshotting this and saucing it around to try and gain some leverage on me. It’s okay Navneet, I’ll allow you to think you have power. Josh is definitely chuckling, and Girish simply does not read blogs. Honestly, if a Netflix executive wants to hire me to write the next tragic romantic special, my name is Trieu Nguyen (preferred name: Trevor), class of 2025 for the University of Michigan. Just find me on linkedin.

Song of the week: Chicken Tendies by Clinton Kane